Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Want to hear a joke? Me to...

thumb_up thumb_down -36

If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

thumb_up thumb_down +33

2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats worse than getting in a car crash Heroshema

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why's the sun red? It's not it's orange.........retard

thumb_up thumb_down -23

whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops