Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

thumb_up thumb_down +12

i said wut wut in the butt!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

my bubbles!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Know what's funny? Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops