there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

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A mexican and a black person are in the back of a car. Whos driving? A bus driver.

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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What do you call a white person? Caucasian

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Me, id rather be known as the antijoke rather than the antichrist, I offered him water at the desert just because I care. You killed him. Moral: Once you see the point of this joke, myself, I will be the one laughing, ten years and counting humanity, ten years or so, and the world belongs to me.

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Aww good to see you looking positive! He said to the boy dying of HIV

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Q: Why did the little boy drop his toy? A: He fell and broke his wrist, then dropped it in the emergency room, due to the broken wrist.

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

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What happened when the ugly girl asked her crush out on a date? He said yes. He found her personality quite attractive

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If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

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A male paltypus usually possesses two poisonous goads under his forelegs. Which makes him potentially more dangerous than a dragon.

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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Whats fat yellow and diabetic Brett lai lan

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Accept for cancer.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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What's worst than a crying baby? A dead baby What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies What's worse than a pile of dead babies? If there's an alive one at the bottom What's worse that an alive baby in a pile of dead babies? If it has to eat its way out.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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