"Doctor, doctor, I am having a hard time controlling my muscles!" "It's Lesche-Nyhan Syndrome, this is a genetic terminal illness...i'm sorry."

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A goose walks into a bar. Maybe he should have ducked.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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"knock knock" "who's there" "I dont know, check the door"

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Why wasn't the door a door? It was a jar.

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Where's Wally? In a children's book.

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What do you say to a hamster? 42 and weasels

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Q: A squirrel a chipmunk and a spider monkey are fighting over these nuts. Who gets them? A: Your Mom ;p

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What did the bacon say to Sam's eggs? Why are you green?

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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Q; what did the gangster say after he and his gang robbed a bank? A;Hey boys lets go drink some soy milk (After that his gang killed him) but the moral of the story is to not rob banks or take drugs

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Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: 2 in the front, 3 in the back and 95 in the ash tray.

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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In a galaxy far, far, away.... There were quasars, stars, and various sized meteors.

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What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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What happens when you search andreas' mum in google? You are redirected to man porn

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If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

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So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

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Why did the student shoot his teacher? Because he was super depressed and was just diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. And he was black.

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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fduck

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?... CAUSE HE FELT LIKE IT, IDIOT

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I remember the last words my Grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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