Robin get in the batmobile!

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Me Neither.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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A black guy and a jew walk into a country club, within minutes, they are told to leave and never come back in order to avoid being contaminated by the radioactive waste left by a landfill company cutting corners in safety regulations

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Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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Q. You guys want to here a joke? Kids: Yeah! A. Women's rights

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You Mom is so ugly, It makes sense why you always have that look on your face!

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Why did the house burn down? Obama

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Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

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Q: What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? A: One dead baby in 6 trash cans.

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how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

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How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i just had bath salts your face looks tasty!

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and lasagna? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

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A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

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have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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