What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

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There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

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A man walks into a casino, and when he walks out his family has no home.

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What did jonah say to your mum ... Nothing jonah is your mum

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what do you call a mexican whos lost his car? nothing, nick ate him

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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I'm gay.

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What did the POW say to his captor? I do not want to be waterboarded.

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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Whats the difference between a black an white guy? They have different skin tones

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. It was a footless chicken.

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How do you make a clown cry? Hit him with a chair then rape his children

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Yo mama so fat and ugly, I don't want to tell you how fat and ugly she is for fear of vomiting.

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Why did the man fart? He didn't. Stop being so dirty-minded.

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Did u hear about the fire at the circus? 12 people died.

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What's in a glass and drinky? A drink

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Yo mama so fat.

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Boner

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She died in a car crash.

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What is the difference between a baby and a log? I don't have a log in my fireplace

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What did the little boy get on christmas morning? Cancer.

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what do you call someone with one arm? Handicapped.

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How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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