How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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knock knock no ones home

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What do you call an elephant on the moon? Dead.

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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Replacement Referees

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"Doctor, doctor, I am having a hard time controlling my muscles!" "It's Lesche-Nyhan Syndrome, this is a genetic terminal illness...i'm sorry."

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Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

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Your mommas so fat, that she's really big.

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What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

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Q: What did the black man say to the other black man? A: Nothing. They didn't know each other.

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What happens when Helen Keller plays badminton? She doesn't win because she threw out her back playing Ultimate Frisbee the weekend prior.

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Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

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Oh s***

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"knock knock" "whos there?" there was no response from the other side but the knocking continued, the homeowner felt distressed so phoned the police...

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

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How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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Why couldn't Dumbo fly? Because he had just been killed by an African Poacher, and dead elephants can't fly. This is very sad.

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A Penguin Waddles into Abercrombie and Fitch.

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My kids are mistakes.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens aren't very intelligent and therefore it didn't see the possible dangers that could occur.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops