Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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Dick Chaney

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Hey Tim lets think of a joke

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

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A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your a Jew, I don't like you.

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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