How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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A Woman out of the kitchen

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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Women's Rights

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops