A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your a Jew, I don't like you.

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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someone called a frog a frog

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Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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