Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

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my bubbles!

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Hey guess what an antijoke is. What? a joke Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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2 guys walk into a bar, a third guy carefully ducks under it

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

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what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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