What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Gale swallows.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what the hell happened to your face

thumb_up thumb_down +30

how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down +28

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops