penis

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What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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America Votes

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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