What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -83

What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

(insert antijoke here

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

How much stuff would a stuff muff huff if a stuff muff could huff stuff? Whole dang lotsa

thumb_up thumb_down -60

What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -116

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

thumb_up thumb_down +155

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops