Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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Sarah Palin

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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FIRE!!

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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