acuna

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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56

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

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If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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Religion

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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Dick Chaney

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nick toth

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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Jesus

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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