nick toth

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

thumb_up thumb_down -22

There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A Woman out of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -74

i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

thumb_up thumb_down -114

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down +33

My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats 9+10? 19

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops