Women's Rights

Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

What rhymes with you? You.

It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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