A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

A man walked into a bar and said ow.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Dislike this!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +48

poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +32

That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

thumb_up thumb_down +28

you know what they say... hydrate or die

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops