What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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Invisible Television.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

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What's better than winning the Silver Medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

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What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

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Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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Q: What did the pope say to the prostitute he passed in the street? A: Bath & Bodyworks are having a sale

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

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What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A rabbit's fart.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

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Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

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Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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