What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

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What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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Q: How did Muhamid Ali ( casius clay ) get a black eye? A: He was born

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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