Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

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What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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