A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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A man with no face walks into a bar, another man sees this and promptly asks "Sir, why do you have no face?" The first man says nothing and walks away.

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

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Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open the presents.

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If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Who Who who? Who who who Who who who who? Who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who…

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My new friend, aka future fuckbuddy asked me what I do for a living. I told her, I write books. She asked me if I had gotten anything published yet. I told her: EXCUSE ME? DID I SAY I WAS A PUBLISHER? She laughed, for some reason... Good enough of an Antichri... Antijoke.

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Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

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What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

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A Black man and a Hispanic man were sitting in the back seat of a car. Who was driving? Their Asian friend who offered to take them to get lunch.

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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Q. What has four legs, but can't walk? A. A dog dying of a serious illness...

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Whats the difference between chad woldert and justin beiber? Nothing

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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