What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

WWII veteran screamed! "You d@mn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's white and sticky? Snow. What were you thinking of?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Jim: You know whats funny? Bob: What? Jim: The 28th Amendment.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I have an erection My mom!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the fat kid get for chirstmas? diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Nowadays, aviation is the most secure means of conveyance in the world, but paragliding is not.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: why is halloween scary? A: because your there!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red , violets are blue, you like 1d? STFU

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: what is green and looks like grass. A: fake grass

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops