A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The morning of her 16th birthday, April's parents presented her with a young racehorse named Bolt. Bolt was energetic and strong the first two days, easily trotting around their 4 acre estate, but the following morning, when April went out to bring Bolt his breakfast, she found him leaning on his stable, head down, slowly rolling side to side. Upon seeing her newfound friend in distress, she promptly asked, "Are you okay Bolt? Why the long face?" Soon after, April realized that she had made a clever pun and grinned childishly. April's glory was short lived however, when Bolt suddenly collapsed due to an aortic aneurysm. Having spent most of their retirement on this racehorse, April's parents sold the ranch and moved into a retirement home, disgracing their daughter for not taking care of their steed. April, believing herself to be the culprit for Bolt's death, later committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Sex with people under twelve years/MONTHS? You think I am a pervert or something? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: DAMN STRAIGHT I AM! People use to tell me they know I am good on the inside... Joke is on them, I I fool them all by being slightly kind on the outside!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A: u wanna die? B: does anyone really wanna die, i mean logistically, un-less u are suicidal, why would you wanna die? A: I do wanna die. B: ur a freak and you should consider getting help person A never got help, on his way to getting help at a certified physician he got hit by a bus, his body can be found at the intersection of church ave. and flatbush. And i would say rest in piece but cars drive over him daily, and thats not to peaceful

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats black and white and read all over? A dead magpie.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call 47 black people dead at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible hate crime

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did little Jimmy survive the 5 story fall? He didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Finding this website has distracted me and has taken up a large majority of my time.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did the Muslim blow up? He accidentally left his gas on and after a while sparked up a cigarette.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You know what's gay? Grabbing another man's penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican is human being, and has no simalarities to an average day wooden bench.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do Michael Jackson and Donkey Kong have in common? They're both famous.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Susie start shaking? She had continuous ceasars

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Sarah Palin

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the white kid go to school? Because it was Martin Luther King day.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

your mom is so poor that now your family is at risk of losing there home

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops