A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Dead girls can't say no.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Sex education in Texas.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why are Americans so fat? Poor diet and lack of exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

jack and jill went up the hill to have a little fun. that dumb ass jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than a mentally retarded boy screaming in your ear while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors? 2 retarded boys screaming in your ears while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Its behind you like if you looked behind

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Bradley is Sexi;P just kidding!!! fatty

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a masculine female? a post op transexual

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two reporters walk into Tah rir Square. Both are abused and that's sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Jews are a religious group. Boy scouts are a group of boys who enjoy camping and other outdoor activities.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

hey i just met you and this is crazy i just had bath salts your face looks tasty!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops