roses are red violets are blue that's just the way god made them

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist -Tag

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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yo mamas so fat whenever she wears a pink bathing suit people say "look at that fat lady wearing a pink bathing suit!

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Why did the car cross the road? Isn't that what cars do?

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Q: Why does a hamburger doesn't taste like an ice cream? A: Because.

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Roses are grey, Violets are black, I have Alzheimer's, Barthtub.

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally has a burning hatred for dairy products.

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because the white man murdered him.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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Chuck Norris is dead......

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

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What happens when a black guy jumps you? Well its no diffrent to when anyone else jumps you!

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I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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2 corpses are sitting on a bridge one fell down both are dead

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why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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