what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was wandering because he was lost and got hit by a car in the process.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the black man have a Lamborghini in his garage? Because he got good grades in school, was accepted into a nice college, and earned a medical degree, which he used to get himself a well-paying job in the medical field.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Cool story bro. Tell it again.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happened to the little boys house? It burned down. How did the boy die? In the fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what looks like a bug, lives in larch mount and lives in a mansion? Aodhan Hearty, lied about the mansion... he lives in a web with his buggy family

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's 8 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a blue whale? A: About 10 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the girl go into the kitcen? she was preparing a meal for her well safisticated family which had not ate dinner yet that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops