*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

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An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

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penispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenis

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Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

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What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

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How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek? The show already had several minority characters, and the producers felt that the addition of a Hispanic actor or actress would have added nothing of value to the series.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

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Call jets pizza at 8637090999 and say porr cisero is still stuck and shit will go down

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What did the homeless man say to his family? Nothing. His family left him after he lost his job.

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A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

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What's red and invisible? We don't know that it's red.

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This stuff on espn about Jason Collins is very gay

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What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

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A duck walks into a bar. He sees Khloe Kardashian sitting on a barstool. The duck runs out of the bar screaming.

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roses are dead violets are gross guess what i'm in your closet

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What does a dinosaur and TImmy's mom have in common? They're both dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? Perhaps he didn't believe in banks.

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Hi

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what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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