Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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What's similar between a yellow bicycle and blue potatoes? They both have weight.

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So my girlfriend comes back from Jamaica this weekend. There are as many hairs per square inch on your body as a chimpanzee.

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why did the chinken cross the rode? why? to get to the gay persons house. Knock, Knock. Who's there. the chicken.

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Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

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Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

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What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

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I also wanted to write a joke but I forgot it so here I am. Minecraft rocks and everyone who says otherwise is a noob

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Why did the black man have blood on his hands? He was a surgeon

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? Nickleback.

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Q. How many puns does it take to make a cup of tea? A. None. A pun is a grammatical construct and as such is incapable of combining the ingredients necessary to generate a hot drink which has been popular for hundreds of years.

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PEANIS!

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A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

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Why did the boy climb the tree? To get to the top. - Driiiftz

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daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops