How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

Me Neither.

Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

There was this fruit joke, but it had no punchline.

what happened when glen haire jumped of a high building? he died.

a blind man drinking from a dog, thinking it was a fountain

I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

*Guy and Jar of Chunky Peanut Butter* Guy; "Hey you're chunky" Peanut Butter; "I know"

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust Whats worse that the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

What do you call a gay dinosaur? Nothing, they're extinct.

A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

Q. Pete and Repeat were sitting on a wall. Repeat fell off. Which one was left? A. Pete. Yep.

how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Voldemort

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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