What did the black jewish homosexual say to the conquistador? Nothing as they were both from entirely different time periods.

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Q.What did the German say when he walked into the bar? A.Ich möchte ein Bier bitte. Das würde mich viel besser fühlen. Meine Frau ist gerade gestorben, weil ich sie zu Tode prügeln, und ich bin ein Alkoholiker.

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I told my grandmother to act her age.... she then died

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what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

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What looks like half a loaf of bread. The other half

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Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

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how do you kill an African baby ? put it in the microwave for roughly 45 minutes

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

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Why was the Jew evicted from his home? He forgot to pay the rent

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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Q. Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? A. yeah, that's a really big step, quitting smoking is tough

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

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We are lawyers

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Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

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A dyslexic man walks into a building labeled, Bra. He then thinks he has found heaven but is suprised when all that is served is beer, not milk.

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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Why did the guy playing Monopoly sell Boardwalk for $100 to the woman wearing an exotic outfit which shows off her boobs but wouldn't sell Boardwalk for $1000 to the other person that was playing the game? The other person had Park Place as well which would have given them a monopoly on the blue property if he had sold it to that person. And $100 is all the girl had or he would have asked for more but he needed the $100 in order to pay this other player and keep himself from going bankrupt after landing on one of his Hotels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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