What rhymes with you? You.

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Religion

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops