A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

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I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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