Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

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did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

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Yee

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teacher: what comes after 69? johnny: mouthwash teacher: get out.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

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Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

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Knock knock! Whos there? Me. Now open the door.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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Why did the girl drown? Well, the girl probably did drown because she was within the ages of 3-5 years old, and she probably had a physical incapapbilty and she could not swim so her parents didn't save her.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops