Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

Good to see you today!

What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

Obama 2012

What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...