Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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Jesus

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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What's worse than women's rights? Actually, not much, because women throughout history suffered for too long the hardships of over dominant male figures and deserve the freedoms they have achieved today.

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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What did the homeless get for Christmas? Nothing By Nathaniel c

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Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

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Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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