How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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Why? Because racecar.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

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What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

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If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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Women's Rights

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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