Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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A man walks around a bar.

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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2 guys walk into a bar, a third guy carefully ducks under it

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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