Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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your mommy so gehto shes black

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

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Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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Why can't black people swim? Because most African American individuals grow up in inner urban cities where they have little or no access to swimming facilities.

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who did the strait guy marry? a woman

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Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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What's white and cant jump? A Fridge

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Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

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One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

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What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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What did one man say to the other? I'm a Mormon.

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A horse walks into a bar.. Several people get up and leave as they see the potential danger in the situation..

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Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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