Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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hey, can you answer a question for me? yeah, sure. ThankYou!

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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