Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

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Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't make sense Your cute

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someone called a frog a frog

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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