why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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If you lose your left arm, your right one will be left.

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Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

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How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

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How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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elliot forsythe is a paedo

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What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

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What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A rabbit's fart.

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What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

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What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

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Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

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A white man and a black man are standing on the edge of a 20 story building. The view from up there is rather nice.

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Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin says to the other "phew it's kinda hot in here" the other muffin says "AWW a talking muffin!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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