Hey man how was your trip? great!!! It blew my mind

why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when riding on a roller coaster.

My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to rape him.

Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

(insert antijoke here

Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

What did the rock say to the other rock? It didnt

What is marios favorite type of jeans? a brand that he enjoys and feels is comfortable in

What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...