What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

When life gives you oranges, make lemonade.

Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

-Is Michael Jackson dead? - HELL YEAH HE'S DEAD!!

Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

What do you call it when a homosexual from spain is forced to have sex with a 400 pound black man? Rape

There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin says to the other "phew it's kinda hot in here" the other muffin says "AWW a talking muffin!"

So a Jewish man walks into a bar, You think Jesus being all knowing would have realized it was there.

Eating chicken off a baby's ass

Which came first the egg or the chicken? The chicken because eggs can't cross the road

You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

What's worse than Hell? The Holocaust.

Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

Limericks are fun, I have an orange Nothing rhymes with orange crap orange

Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

Guy 1: "Hey, you have some updawg on your face." Guy 2: "Oh, thanks. Did I get it?" Guy 1: "Yeah, I think so."

What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

teacher: what comes after 69? johnny: mouthwash teacher: get out.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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