A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Do you know what would happen if you were to like this Anti-Joke? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... I would get another like.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Caitlyn.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the black guy punch the Mexican guy? Because they were in a fight.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

hi hi strager danger

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's brown and sticky? a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats worse then losing your phone? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops