Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

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Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

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If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

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So a man is shopping on black Friday...

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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Women's rights.

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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Hey i just met you & this is crazy but Nia and Goober Made a baby

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Why is the sky blue? Because when you look up at the sky, especially during the daytime, the sky is giving a bluish color.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face." the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer."

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

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What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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