GIVE

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What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

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You wanna hear an inside joke? That was one of them.

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Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

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lets see how many dislikes i can get from this...

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what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

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What do you call it when a homosexual from spain is forced to have sex with a 400 pound black man? Rape

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Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

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What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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