What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

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a black man did not eat chicken.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

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What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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Your dad isn't gay...but his boyfriend..HES REALLY GAY!

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who looks like justin bieber and is really cool? george darling but i lied about him being cool.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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Knock Know Who's there? Not your dog, he just got run over.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We both share the same ethnicity

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Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

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What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

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Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

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Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

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Want to hear a joke? Me too.

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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