How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

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roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

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A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

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The Blonde Gets 100 % On Her Math Test

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

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What do you call a Jew A Jew

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what did the little boy see when he walked into his parents bed room a bed

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What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

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A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops