Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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If Jonny has 300 pies and eats 299 pies what is left for Jonny? DIABETES

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

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Whats the differance between a blond and a rock? I don't know. I can't think of any.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

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Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

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Why was the man wearing all white? He was a part of the Ku Klux Kan.

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How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

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why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

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How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

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What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

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Hitler.. Hitlar... Hillar... Hillary Clinton

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

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what kind of mexicans are NOT in the U.S. -legal

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. So now he's dead. No more eating of shoes.

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What did the chicken say to the.... nevermind

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What Did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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What do you get when you cross a lamb and a pigeon? You get your house taken away.

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so your snowboarding in the dessert and all four of your tires pop. how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house. the answer is B. 500 squids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops