Once upon a time, there was a a loving couple. When they first kissed, the girl's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't because of love. It was a heart murmur. She died. The end.

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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Why couldn't the little girl color in her coloring book? Her arms were amputated.

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9 8 7

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

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What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

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A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

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Albert <3 Hunter

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

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Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

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Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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