How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

how do you break up with your girlfriend? talk about their race.

A man walks into a bar. Wait, no, it was a horse. A man walks into a horse

How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

What did the man say to his doctor?

What do you call a bear. Rob.

knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

what did the old lady die of old age...

Q. What do you get when you cross the North Korean border and an American? A. Death.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? He was furious because it was the fourth time that week that it failed to wake him up for school, and he was going to be late again.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no possible way for humans and chickens to communicate with each other. Therefore we cannot know.

Black...

OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

four score and seven years ago. . sharks with frickn laser beams attached to their FRICKeN HEADs.

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

Why didn't junior say thank you for his christmas present from his dad? He was raised by two moms

woman's rights

What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

Hello penis

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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