A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Which came first the egg or the chicken? The chicken because eggs can't cross the road

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Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

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That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

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someone called a frog a frog

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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Women's Rights

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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