I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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Dylan Eichas

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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Dislike this!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops