What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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japan4.

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what is the difference between a Ferrari and a bucket of dead babies......... I dont have a Ferrari in my garage

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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yo mama so dumb that we sat her down to take a standardized, comprehensive IQ test measuring spatial, logical, linguistic, and memorization abilities. Her aggregate score was an 87, indicated she is roughly one standard deviation below the mean of the population, which is not low enough to qualify for government assistance under the Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) but does impede her understanding of more complex abstract concepts and things pertaining to higher culture. In spite of this, she has raised a child of average intelligence, and has retained the same job at Walgreen's for 14 years, People seem to like her because she is polite and rarely late. Your mother is an inspiration to low-IQ people living in high-IQ developed countries, demonstrating that an inability to fully understand abstracts does necessarily lead to a life of meagerness and frustration, so long as you work hard, keep your spirits high, and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

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What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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